it has truly been forever. so, i quit byu and moved to albuquerque, nm. i live in a tiny baby house and i work long hours at a restaurant. i have 2 baby kittens that are my life. i am trying to figure out who i am, and its a struggle. i am happier than i was at byu, but i still dont feel 100 percent complete. also i miss my friends. and i know a lot of people are upset with me or confused. i am just trying to make myself happy.

I dyed my hair!

in other news, i've lost 45 pounds... it feels good. happier, healthier me.

jobs and books

I have a job! I work at the Culinary Support Center Bakery on BYU Campus! I make donuts from 10 pm - 2 am every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It's awesome. I love getting a paycheck. Hahaha... Other than that, nothing is new in my world. I'm doing great in all of my classes. I have five tests next week...not really looking forward to that! My life is really boring and I have nothing interesting to say but that's probably a good thing, haha. Oh, so I got a nook for Christmas and my goal is to read 18,000 pages this year. So far, I have read:

Looking for Alaska by John Green - 221 pages

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut - 228 pages

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger - 277 pages

Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut - 303 pages

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut - 191 pages

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand - 704 pages

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - 576 pages

Anthem by Ayn Rand - 146 pages

total of pages so far: 2,646

pages to go: 15,354

:)

also, i've lost 45 pounds to date:

see the difference?

:)

Lately every day I've been content. I looooveee feeling this way. :) And I cut my hair all by myself!

ring out the old, ring in the new

I am back at BYU after spending two months at home in NC. It's difficult to adjust back into a very stressful environment, but I think I'm doing okay. I'm planning on finishing this semester, and spring and summer terms here and then transferring closer to home. That's the plan at least, but plans are still subject to change. I might just go ahead and finish school out here. Who knows. So far my classes are going well. I have 12 credits this semester. I have a job interview tomorrow (thanks McKenna). Things are going pretty well.

love love love all over her face

My friend Emily made a blog post about this song and I feel like it's a good one for me to listen to right now.

I have dropped out of BYU for the time being and I am back in Greensboro indefinitely. I don't really know whether or not I will return to BYU, or transfer somewhere closer to home, like UNCG.

I have my reasons for being home. I am trying to make the best of my time here. As of right now, I am registered for winter classes at BYU, but again - we'll see. I am taking this time to work on healing myself. To work on becoming a better person, to work on feeling better about myself as a person. To fix the things I don't like, and to embrace the things I do. To lose myself in the service of others. To figure out what I want out of my life on this earth. To start working towards that, whatever it may be.

You may not understand what is going on, but just know that it is good.

just came here to say...

i've hit my 20 lbs mark! woohoo! only 80 more to go...