Babysitting Takes A Toll...

So this week, I babysat. and babysat. and babysat. and when I was tired of babysitting, I babysat some more. And it's funny because really, I only babysat for about 20 hours. But man, kids are hard! I love taking care of kids, and there are those moments where you just realize how wonderful and perfect and innocent and sweet they are - for instance, one of the little boys said, "Linda, I love your beautiful face. It's just BEAUTIFUL." He's four! And not to mention, I live for those cuddles and hugs and kisses and compliments and cute words. But then there are those other moments, like when a kid has diarrhea and he's screaming and you just changed his diaper for the 10th time and you have no idea how to make him feel better and you want to cry because there is nothing you can do. Or those moments where the kids make you feel bad - I put one of the boys in time-out and he said, "You're evil! You're breaking my heart! I don't deserve this!" - Same four year old, by the way. Babysitting makes me nervous because I feel like it is pretend parenting -- and sometimes, you just don't feel adequate. I get scared, like -- would I ever be a good mom? I don't know. I hope so.