it has truly been forever. so, i quit byu and moved to albuquerque, nm. i live in a tiny baby house and i work long hours at a restaurant. i have 2 baby kittens that are my life. i am trying to figure out who i am, and its a struggle. i am happier than i was at byu, but i still dont feel 100 percent complete. also i miss my friends. and i know a lot of people are upset with me or confused. i am just trying to make myself happy.

I dyed my hair!

in other news, i've lost 45 pounds... it feels good. happier, healthier me.

jobs and books

I have a job! I work at the Culinary Support Center Bakery on BYU Campus! I make donuts from 10 pm - 2 am every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It's awesome. I love getting a paycheck. Hahaha... Other than that, nothing is new in my world. I'm doing great in all of my classes. I have five tests next week...not really looking forward to that! My life is really boring and I have nothing interesting to say but that's probably a good thing, haha. Oh, so I got a nook for Christmas and my goal is to read 18,000 pages this year. So far, I have read:

Looking for Alaska by John Green - 221 pages

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut - 228 pages

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger - 277 pages

Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut - 303 pages

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut - 191 pages

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand - 704 pages

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - 576 pages

Anthem by Ayn Rand - 146 pages

total of pages so far: 2,646

pages to go: 15,354

:)

also, i've lost 45 pounds to date:

see the difference?

:)

Lately every day I've been content. I looooveee feeling this way. :) And I cut my hair all by myself!

ring out the old, ring in the new

I am back at BYU after spending two months at home in NC. It's difficult to adjust back into a very stressful environment, but I think I'm doing okay. I'm planning on finishing this semester, and spring and summer terms here and then transferring closer to home. That's the plan at least, but plans are still subject to change. I might just go ahead and finish school out here. Who knows. So far my classes are going well. I have 12 credits this semester. I have a job interview tomorrow (thanks McKenna). Things are going pretty well.

love love love all over her face

My friend Emily made a blog post about this song and I feel like it's a good one for me to listen to right now.

I have dropped out of BYU for the time being and I am back in Greensboro indefinitely. I don't really know whether or not I will return to BYU, or transfer somewhere closer to home, like UNCG.

I have my reasons for being home. I am trying to make the best of my time here. As of right now, I am registered for winter classes at BYU, but again - we'll see. I am taking this time to work on healing myself. To work on becoming a better person, to work on feeling better about myself as a person. To fix the things I don't like, and to embrace the things I do. To lose myself in the service of others. To figure out what I want out of my life on this earth. To start working towards that, whatever it may be.

You may not understand what is going on, but just know that it is good.

just came here to say...

i've hit my 20 lbs mark! woohoo! only 80 more to go...

Oh look, it's 4 a.m. again...

So, today will be my 8th day of school (it already feels like I've been in school much longer...uh-oh) and I can confidently say that it is going quite well. I really love all of my classes. I was a bit worried about my French class because I am now in INTERMEDIATE french (ooh la la) but I talked to my teacher and he seemed to think I am in a good position to do well in the class and I seem to think that I'm in a good position to do well in the class so it must be so. I LOVE having late classes! I am never taking morning classes again! Here are the things I love about my classes: I took AP stats in high school, so my statistics class is a cinch! Which is awesome. My french class is small and the people seem to be really great. I am currently working on reading the Book of Mormon in french. My sociology class - current social problems - is wonderful. I am a nerd and I love discussing the root causes of problems like racism, sexism, classism...every -ism you could possibly name. love it. My art history class is great! I remember a lot of the works from when I took AP art history in high school, and my teacher is a little dry but from what I hear his class is the easiest art history class. My LDS marriage and family class is pretty cool too. I like learning about doctrine in regards to marriage in the LDS church... since I grew up in a non-lds home, a lot of the things taught are new and exciting concepts to me! i can't wait to get married! (just kidding. if anything the class makes me feel woefully inadequate/like i am never going to get married.)

let's see, let's see. I officially am obsessed with online shopping. I need to quit. Also I need a job to support this awful habit of mine. I'm a sucker for the deals, what can I say.

Oh! I made a recent large purchase. It's a ... wait for it... NETBOOK. What is a netbook, you might ask? Well, let me tell you. It is the cutest computer in the history of mankind! It is teeny tiny and lightweight and PERFECT for taking notes in class! I adore my netbook. It's the best purchase I've ever purchased ever. I bought a HP mini. It's great. Seriously great.

Okay well, I don't know if I've formally introduced you, my readers, to my new roommates. So here goes:

Brittany #1, also called Taylor Swift: Brittany is a junior at BYU, is tall, beautiful, and SINGLE (if you are a boy reading this you should definitely get on that) and obsessed with Disney. She worked at Disneyworld this past summer and she also has a crush on Zac Efron.

Nadine: Nadine is British. She's from Preston, England and I love her a lot. I imitate her accent on the daily and our apartment has dubbed Mondays as "Nadine day" where we all talk in British accents all day when we're around her. She pretends to hate it but she actually loves it. Nadine spent her summer in Ghana volunteering at an orphanage. Nadine is waiting on a hottie missionary who only has 11 months left on his mission! Yay!

Laura: Laura is really cool! She's artsy and dresses in a bohemian-inspired style. Laura is a returned missionary and served her mission in San Fernando, California Spanish Speaking. She is super sweet and loves to give hugs. She just transferred to BYU from Utah State.

Brittany #2, also called Butters: Butters is petite and sweet and funny. Her laugh is out of this world and she is the most precious human being on the planet. Butters also served a mission, in the same mission as Laura! They were never companions, but they lived together for a transfer. Butters is adorable and has many friends.

Nicole: Nicole is my room roommate and she has incredible amounts of stuff. She loves animals (current pet count: 2 fishbowls, 1 aquarium, a turtle, and 2 rats) and she is obsessed with Star Wars. She even has a real live lightsaber! She also loves music and has a keyboard and four guitars.

So basically I have the coolest roommates ever, you should all be jealous, etc. I've been super busy but I am truly happy and excited for what's to come this semester. I'll make sure to update if anything important happens.... haha.

Catch ya on the flipside...

LJ

Baby I Like It

Okay so apparently I only make blog posts at 4 am. Why am I awake? No idea. So today was my first day of classes. They were great. I am excited about all of them, although I can already tell that this is going to be my hardest semester thus far and I'm gonna have to work my tail off. It's worth it though. Straight As this semester? Oh heck yeah. Aaaaanyways. Last week, I really wanted some southern food. The kind that warms your heart. The kind that is so bad for you it's good. So my old roommate Rosalia (she's from Louisiana) and I decided to make a sunday dinner together of some good old fashioned southern home cooking. And it was a complete success. Everyone's plates were completely cleared by the end of it...and there were nine people there. Yeah, if that's not a success I don't know what is. This experience helped me in my domestic goddess-ship. I can do anything. Anyways, if you can't tell, my life is wonderful right now. The southern food hit the spot, I'm taking awesome classes, my ward is the best, I have great friends, etc. Oh and I lost 12 pounds in a week, despite the Southern food. Can I get a heck yeah? HECK YEAHHHHH!

On to the picture portion of this post:

3 lbs of fresh green beans. It took me like an hour, no seriously, an HOUR to snap the ends off of all those babies.

Cooked the right way. Bacon and onions and chicken stock. so delicious. they smelled like home and made me a little homesick, I can't lie.

Fried okra. a.k.a. my favorite food in the whole universe. The universe is a pretty large place, ya know.

Homemade mashed potatoes. The kind with two sticks of butter and real cream. Paula Deen would be proud. This picture sucks but I assure you, they were great.

In addition to these three wonderful meal items, Rose made homemade baked beans and also sausage. Delicious. I didn't get pictures of those though unfortunately.

This is my roommate Brittany. She enjoys wearing footie pajamas and licking lollipops.

This is me, 12 pounds lighter.

and this is the biggest zucchini I've ever seen.

OH and I forgot. I decided to go by LJ this year. It's been a success switching over. I got tired of people saying, "Oh, your name is Linda? You know, Linda means pretty in Spanish." Okay cool story I've heard it a million times go away. I harbor a certain vitriol for people who tell me. Obviously I'm not stupid, I took four years of Spanish in high school and my mom has been telling me SINCE I WAS BORN what my name means. Seriously shut up. So anyways, to avoid that drama, I decided to start going by LJ. Also Linda is a boring and old-fashioned name and I am neither of those things. Plus this year is my new beginning as a sane person. I mean, new beginnings, a new camera, and a new name. You can't beat that.

Until next time,
LJ

You really got a hold on me

Okay, I admit it. I. love. going back to school. I am so excited. I feel like I've had my mental refreshment period and now it's time to get back to business. In order to prepare for said business, I covered some notebooks in fabulous scrapbooking paper to give them a unique look:

I'm pretty proud actually. I'm taking five classes this semester: Current Social Problems, the first half of Art History, Statistics, LDS Marriage and Family, and French. I am most excited about Current Social Problems and most worried about French. At least I have that cool French notebook up there to take notes in.
I got a new camera. It's a Nikon D70 and it is already my child. I won't let it out of my sight. Seriously. I'm still learning how to use it but I've taken a few good pictures with it thus far.

This fish. I don't know it's name but I'm sure it has one.


Our turtle Aayla.

My new roommate Brittany

Anyways, those are just a few of the pictures because I'm too lazy to put them all here. But I am pretty pleased. So yeah. Oh! The other day I got to go to a She & Him concert...FOR FREE! It was so great! Best concert EVER. Except I forgot my camera so I have to wait for my old roommate Sydni to upload the pics of us.

Adieu!

You don't even want to know what time it is

So, it is late. like 4:41 am late. The kind of late where it's so late it's early. I hate being up this late. Unfortunately I am the most productive at this hour. For instance, tonight I did the dishes, I watched Man vs. Wild (a shirtless man surviving in the wilderness with nothing but his backpack and his own two hands is so hot for some reason), and I moved some of my stuff into THE BIG BEDROOM. This is in all caps because it's been a long time coming, this event. I have been envious of THE BIG BEDROOM since I moved into Centennial Apartments, and now it is mine! I feel so triumphant. However, just like every time I move, I find myself wondering why I have so much CRAP. Seriously what is my problem, I can't throw away anything. Everything is sentimental. I guess I'm just a sentimental person, and that's okay. What is not okay are the boxes and boxes of junk that I have accumulated. I have dubbed tomorrow "throw everything away" day. I am going to go through my junk and keep the good stuff and throw away everything else. I need to stop holding onto those pants from three years ago that I keep around on the off chance that I will lose weight and fit into them again. Seriously Linda. It's okay to let go. Honestly the more I think of it, I have a hard time letting go of anything. If I do say so myself, I'm pretty good at forgiving and forgetting. But when it comes to letting go of people in my life, or letting go of sentimental items, I fail horribly. And you know, maybe that isn't such a bad thing (the people part). Sometimes though, it's exhausting. It's hard when you never stop caring about this person that you met once that time you were at that party and you hit it off. It's even harder when it's someone you were close to once and you grew apart. What's hardest is when the other person has let go of you completely, so it's just you and your heart full of care thinking about that person who couldn't care less about you. But sometimes it pays off to care so much. Because there are people who appreciate this gift (and curse) that you have. There are people who love you because you put your whole heart into everything you do, into all of your friendships. These people are the ones who make caring worth it.

la vie en rose

i like singing in french.

Kathy's Fabulous Bachelorette Party

So, last Sunday, my roommate Tippe and I were talking to Kathy, a girl in our ward who is very sweet but a little shy, very eloquent, intelligent, and sometimes a little awkward. We knew Kathy was getting married, so we asked her the obligatory questions -- how excited are you? are you nervous? did you have a bridal shower? did you have a bachelorette party?
What?! NO BACHELORETTE PARTY?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO. So then we crafted a brilliant plan.

The first part of our plan was to call Kathy and say we are taking her out to a celebratory dinner on Thursday night -- this was so she wouldn't make plans for that night. Then, we went shopping and found some fabulous accessories - a sash that said BACHELORETTE and had pink sparklies on it and a kid's dress up bridal veil. We found decorations -- caution tape that said "caution: bachelorette party. danger: wild women.", and a big banner that said BACHELORETTE PARTY. We called the bishop's wife and asked if we could have it at their house. We called around and found people who were willing to come and bring snacks. We made a super secret facebook invitation. We photoshopped Nathan (Kathy's fiance) and Kathy's faces onto Disney Princess coloring pages for a fun activity to do while at the party. We bought margarita mix and pina colada mix and daiquiri mix, with sprite and ginger ale to mix into it. We were ready.

So on Thursday, we showed up at Kathy's apartment. We drove around a little bit, stopped to get gas, and I received a very interesting phone call from the "bishop" (actually Sydni) saying I had left something at his house. "Oh, Kathy, do you mind if we stop at the Bishop's house? I accidentally left some of my work stuff there and I need it before tomorrow." "No problem!" So we headed to the bishop's house and I said, "Oh Kathy, do you want to come inside with me? You can say goodbye to the bishop for the very last time." "Oh, that's a good idea," she said.

SURPRISE! Happy bachelorette-ness, Kathy! The whole plan went off without a hitch. Kathy had scheduled her cleaning check for that night, so a bunch of us went to her apartment to help her pass the check, then came back and partied. We colored pictures, we talked, we chatted, we heard about Cinder-Edna and we drank our "mocktails". In short, a good time was had by all .

AND I TOOK PICTURES, OF COURSE:

the banner and caution tape


some of the coloring pages (Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Mickie and Minnie)


the blushing bachelorette in veil and sash


the awesome party planners! (tippe and I)

second post in one day, just because...

today i feel pretty. and that is a rare feeling (my fellow girls can sympathize)! but i wanted to make a post so i can say "i was pretty that day" or "today might not be my day, but there are days when i'm pretty." i apologize for being a little vain.

Back in Provo!

I am back in Provo! I saw not one, not two, but three rainbows on the drive from Morgan, UT to Provo... a sign that I am definitely supposed to be here! So far I've been pretty lazy while I have been here...I finished up my very first embroidery project.


it was an apron! that i embroidered for mckenna's wedding gift. it was the first time i ever embroidered anything so I am quite proud of it.


the big monogrammed M was made out of french knots, which look like little roses close up:


while i was still in greensboro, i tie dyed t-shirts with my sister and cousin:



and I played checkers with my brother:



and he beat me. badly.

Anyways, I am getting excited for school to start! I was able to qualify this year again for independent status, so hopefully I will get a good amount of financial aid. Here's to the 2010-2011 school year!

Sorry guys, no time to update in my BUSY life. :)

I've been spending a lot of time catching up with old friends, playing with recipes, and also making more crafts. I finally finished my letter L to hang up in my room!


I used an antique book that was falling apart -- had no cover, etc. and ripped up the pages.

In other news, my cousin Tiffany has moved into my mom's house. It's been interesting... but we've been looking for the ideal paint color for the walls. Haven't found it yet! Oh but I took some pictures of her as well as of Luke and Eli, Jan's grandkids.

Luke

Tiffany

Eli

Babysitting Takes A Toll...

So this week, I babysat. and babysat. and babysat. and when I was tired of babysitting, I babysat some more. And it's funny because really, I only babysat for about 20 hours. But man, kids are hard! I love taking care of kids, and there are those moments where you just realize how wonderful and perfect and innocent and sweet they are - for instance, one of the little boys said, "Linda, I love your beautiful face. It's just BEAUTIFUL." He's four! And not to mention, I live for those cuddles and hugs and kisses and compliments and cute words. But then there are those other moments, like when a kid has diarrhea and he's screaming and you just changed his diaper for the 10th time and you have no idea how to make him feel better and you want to cry because there is nothing you can do. Or those moments where the kids make you feel bad - I put one of the boys in time-out and he said, "You're evil! You're breaking my heart! I don't deserve this!" - Same four year old, by the way. Babysitting makes me nervous because I feel like it is pretend parenting -- and sometimes, you just don't feel adequate. I get scared, like -- would I ever be a good mom? I don't know. I hope so.

Summer Squash

One of my favorite summer vegetables is yellow squash. Delectable, sweet, a little crunchy... yum. My mom's boyfriend, George, has a friend at work who farms summer squash, and surprise surprise, we got a ton of it for free! So I decided to try out this recipe from the fat-free vegan kitchen! It's super simple - you slice some squash (I used three small yellow squash), slice some onion (I used half of a large vidalia onion), and spray a baking sheet with fat free cooking spray. Preheat the oven to 425, and put all the squash on the baking sheet. Sprinkle the onions on top, and if you want, lightly garnish with salt, pepper, and garlic. Then pop it in the oven for 15 minutes. Take it out, flip the squash, and cook for another 15 minutes. Presto! Delicious yellow squash in 30 minutes. I love this recipe because it's easy, tasty, and filling, not to mention only 77 calories per serving. I ate it with a small salad -- I just tossed romaine lettuce, chopped cucumbers, ranch dressing (hey -- this is the south), and a sprinkle of cheese, but I imagine it would be a great side dish to some grilled chicken. Yum.

North Carolina's Very Own Domestic Goddess

I am in the wonderful (and humid, and very hot) state of North Carolina! It was a long drive, but so worth it. Liisa Mecham's friend Jennifer was kind enough to give me a ride to Moab, where Liisa and her family live. Four days, 5 kids, 1 Liisa, 1 Linda, 5 million cheez-its/fruit snacks, 2 family visits, 2 hotel stays, 500 side-of-the-road bathroom stops (poor Alex and his teeny bladder) and 2000 sweaty miles, I was home. So far I've been bouncing back and forth between my mom's house and Jan's house, visiting friends, watching movies, and the past few days -- crafting! My best friend Rachel and I went to Michael's Craft Store today. I picked up $40 worth of craft supplies!! Dang. But alas, I am content. I am a domestic goddess. I taught myself how to embroider. I taught myself how to decoupage. I taught myself how to sew buttons. I even taught myself how to do French knots. I rule.

i have also been playing around with smoothie recipes! yum.

Au revoir!